From Blue Like Jazz, again.

I got so much out of Blue Like Jazz. It's one of my new favorite books.

I think my favorite chapters were the ones near the end - the worship one and the two on love.

In Chapter 18, Love: How to Really Love Other People, he talks about loving people who were living lives contrary to God's truth. He says:

"I felt by loving liberal people, I mean by really endorsing their existence, I was betraying the truth of God because I was encouraging them in their lives apart from God. ... [By] truly loving those people, I was helping them, I was giving joy to their life and that didn't feel right."

I've felt like this, but I could never put it into words until I read Miller's words. I never felt like this so strongly that I wouldn't love people who weren't doing right: I wanted to love them, but I was stuck between loving God and loving them. I was confused; I couldn't figure out how to reconcile the two.

Later Miller writes, "I used love like money. The church used love like money. With love, we withheld affirmation from the people who did not agree with us, but we lavishly financed the ones who did."

I've done this. Mostly with my siblings. I mean, I've never stopped loving them, but when I'm babysitting or in a position where I have to discipline, I resist showing love until they "shape up." But now I'm realizing that love is what makes people "shape up."

Donald Miller talks about a guy that he really didn't like. He says that he wanted this guy to change and he "thought somehow he would sense my disapproval and change his life in order to gain my favor. In short, I withheld love." But it pretty much failed. They guy got defensive and started to dislike Miller as much as Miller disliked him. "Rather than being drawn to me, wanting to change, he was repulsed."

But then Miller realized that he was using love like money. So, "instead of withholding love to change somebody, I poured it on, lavishly. I hoped that love would work like a magnet, pulling people from the mire and toward healing. I knew this was the way God loved me. God had never withheld love to teach me a lesson."

It worked. He chose to love the guy. And when he did, he found himself liking him. "And then he began to change...He was a great human being getting even better. I could feel God's love for him. I loved the fact that it wasn't my responsibility to change somebody, that it was God's, that my part was just to communicate love and approval."